Man-in-Hattan.

Apparently April is the month for my annual pilgrimage to Manhattan. And you know what? I am down for that: April is, for me, the best month to see this place. Perfect weather; No insane summer crowds; and the summer smell hasn't kicked in yet (only those who've experienced that smell can appreciate what I mean). I wear my favorite jacket all day with my Leica around the neck. Yeps, life is pretty good for a week in NYC.

Let me tell you this story: I pulled the Red-Eye out of Phoenix last night. My eyes have never been so red. The flight was supposed to leave at 10:15 pm. To our pleasant surprise, when we boarded at 9:45, they said we were going to leave early. Hoorah, right? As we started to pull out onto the runway, the pilot stops the plane and tells us that we need to go back, because the plane needed some random part. So we pull back up to the gate, but stay in our seats. 11:30 pm, and the "mechanic" who was supposed to be there in 10 minutes STILL hadn't made it to the plane. 12:30 AM and "the mechanic is here, but still installing the part."

For the next hour and fifteen minutes, the mechanic was filling out all the "paperwork." The flight attendant told us that like 3 times over the course of an hour: "Well, the mechanic is just getting all the paperwork cleared up, and then we'll be on our way."

I mean, honestly: do they really expect us to believe that's actually what's happening??? This wasn't a business transaction; no one was buying a home or purchasing a car. There weren't multiple parties involved. What the hell airplane part requires more time in paperwork than it does in installation?

How about this: the fact that you come on the intercom every 15 minutes doesn't make the experience easier; the fact that you're making things up to as you go is even worse; the fact that you have a really boring imagination hurts most of all.

It's now 1:20 am and I am SO DELIRIOUSLY TIRED. And you know how comfortable those coach seats can be. So as I am drifting in and out of consciousness, I finally start to fall asleep. As I was incorporating people's conversations and other ambient sounds into my dreams, I hear in the back of my brain: "hey, guy by the window..............HEY, guy by the window............hey GUY BY THE WINDOW." I woke up at that and saw this blonde-headed, twenty-something staring at me (without a hint of remorse for waking me, I might add. Quite the opposite). She then says "I know that some guys really like the aisle seats, and I thought you'd want to trade with me."

As I struggle back into consciousness, she's staring at me with this very expectant expression. I hate to say it, but I knew at that moment that she was from New York--and I am not one to place stereotypes. She had so much attitude, and wasn't asking me as much as she was telling me to give her my seat. I said "I'm sorry, but don't understand why you want my seat." She said: "I want a window seat so I'll sleep better, and I know guys usually want aisle seats."

(you should all know that every passenger on that plane got to choose where they sat--including her).

I said, "well, I did specifically choose this seat---." She looked at me stoically and then walked further up the plane and said the same thing to another guy in a window-seat.

What added to the hilarity was this Asian lady cracking-up the entire time this was happening. When blondie left, the Asian lady says "she was watching you for a long time!"

We both laughed as blondie was rejected again and again, and eventually had to settle for her original aisle seat...

Not that I need to defend myself, but I have given up my bus, subway, car and even plane seat to many others before. But this was a case of "tough-love" that needed to be dealt--and everyone knew it.

For those who might also wish to know: This is where assertiveness meets audacity!!!

After 3 hours of sitting in the plane by the gate, we FINALLY departed at 1:30 am, and rolled into JFK about 5 hours later.

All I have to say is, if I am going to sit in an Airplane for 8 hours, I want to be in DENMARK at the other end!!!

But it's been a great day since. I am photographing a performer, and we got to attend her Off-Broadway show and then hang out in Times Square for a couple of hours.

Rome (see above) even had his 15 minutes of fame when he bought a Reese's bar and got his name scrolling on a banner in Times Square which read: "Rome Rapier has just gotten CRUNCHED."

As we were in the Hershey's mega-store in Times Square, I realized for the first time that you can make an entire store out of packaging the same product in 100 different ways! "Let's sell Kisses in a GIANT plastic Kiss! Yeah! And let's sell Kisses in a metal bucket! Yeah! And sell Kisses in stuffed animals! Yeah! And Kisses in boxes and bags and wow wow wow!!! This is going to be the best store ever!"

wesman.